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" I have come to change the government, not to praise it."
"There is nothing more monstrous than politicians". Screaming Lord Sutch
"
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you " R.U.Seerius

 

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Latest News.

Please note that as from 30/07/08 until 11/08/08 the webmaster will be unable to answer any emails, guestbook or make alterations to this website as I am away on my hols.

21/07/08 Free Live Bands

Some words from Chinners: Dear All

ALAS the legendary FREE music nights at the Prince of Wales have come to an end after the pub's recent upgrade? into a gastro bar . . . . all is not lost however as I have secured a seven week trial at the POYNTS ARMS, 85 WALTON ROAD, EAST MOLESEY  (5mins from Hampton Court BR and the 411 bus stops outside) from the 1st of August.
Opening this new/old evening will be the superb rock cover outfit THE BLUE FUSES (www.bluefuses.co.uk)
Other artists lined up include the NIGEL BAGGE BAND, MONA LEEZA, GARY BREWER & the GBs, The MAGIC BUS and a special performance from the amazing hillbillies THE CURST SONS.
Full listing dates will be available from the chinners-omrlp myspace site soon and of course in the pub.
Please spread the word far and wide as obviously this trial will be dependant on all you good people enjoying yourself to free live music in Molesey again

More details on our diary page.
Many thanks for you support at the Prince of Wales but all good things come to and end and all excellent things start anew!

Chinners

17/07/08 News of Party Conference 2008. Thurs 25th, Fri 26th, Sat 27th September

We now have confirmed some of the details of the next Party Conference. It will be held at The Raven Hotel, Station Road,  Hook, Hampshire.  

   For More details CLICK HERE

16/7/08 A few more proposals

Alex says:The speaker in the house of commons will be replaced by the latest audio equipment 

This one from Osric The Newt was sent in and at the time seemed a (dare i say it ) little silly. However now that we are in a recession (dare I say it) it may seem a little more relevant, as unemployemnt is increasing and builders are having a hard time.
Any way Osric says:I would like to suggest the party adopts the Paint It Purple Policy
(PIPP)
In order to solve the problem of depressed areas, unemployment and youth disaffection, Every third building in the country should be painted purple.
There'll be lots of jobs created either making purple paint, or doing the painting, these jobs can be done by young people, who'll be too busy washing purple paint off themselves to get into trouble.
Everywhere will look great.

16/7/08 Media Presents

The media have been reporting the events at Haltemprice and we have picked out a couple of many.

One from Time.com  and one from The Beeb  It costs 6 quid to have fun like this at Alton Towers.

11/07/08 The results...

The Media have decided to virtually sideline this election due to their being 25 "frivilous and independant candidates" It would seem that in order to be fair and maintain impartiality the Beeb have done the next best thing, ignore it,  so when an election in Scotland came along it was an obvious Godsend as then they wouldnt have to report the circus in Haltemprice. 

Meanwhile what a fantastic result. MadCow-girl (7th Place) would like to thank all the people of Haltemprice & Howden who cast their vote for the loony party. -They knew it made sense

By-election Candidates:

portraitMad Cow-Girl (Official Monster Raving Loony)  412


portraitDavid Davis (Conservative)  17,113
portraitShan Oakes (Green) 1758
portraitJoanne Robinson (English Democrats) 1714

 

portraitChris Talbot (Socialist Equality) 84
portraitGemma Garrett (Miss Great Britain)  521
portraitRonnie Carroll (Make Politicans History) 

 

portraitHamish Howitt (Freedom 4 Choice)
portraitDavid Craig (Independent)
portraitJill Saward (Independent)
portraitDavid Icke (No description)
portraitEamonn Fitzpatrick (Independent)
portraitGeorge Hargreaves (Christian Party)
portraitNorman Scarth (Independent)
portraitWalter Sweeney (Independent)
portraitTess Culnane (National Front)
Grace Astley (Independent)
portraitDavid Bishop (Church of the Militant Elvis)
portraitHerbert Crossman (Independent)
Thomas Darwood (Independent)
Tony Farnon (Independent)
Christopher Foren (Independent)

John Nicholson (Independent)
portraitDavid Pinder (New Party)
portraitJohn Upex (Independent)
Greg Wood (Independent

04/07/08 Don’t take F******* Liberties

The man who dosn’t like Mundays, but does like feeding the World (well the African bit anyway) has turned his attention from campaigning about Africa to Campaigning in Haltemprice.

Bob Geldof will join ex-Tory frontbencher David Davis's fight on Friday (as he dosn’t like Mondays) against Labour's alleged erosion of ancient liberties. Being a keen advocat on African Issues we wonder if he will be endorsing Morgan Tsvangirai and highlighting Zimbabwes loss of any civil liberties.

03/07/08 I must confess this webmaster is a little confused regarding the reasons David Davis resigned and caused the latest by-election. I always thought that the job of an opposition was to oppose. To their credit they did. The Labour M.P's who disagreed with the 42 day rule didn't resign. Yet the Tory who didn't agree did resign even though his party didn't agree and agreed with him. Question: Is it me?

28/06/08 Candidates for Haltemprice and Howden

2008 By-election

Formerly Shadow Home Secretary, David Davis announced his intention on the 12th June to resign and fight a by-election on the issue of 42 detention of terrorist suspects. The Liberal Democrats, who also opposed the legislation declined to stand against him and Labour, branding his actions a stunt, also declined to put up a candidate. Initially former editor of the Sun Kelvin Mackenzie indicated he would stand as an independent pro-42 days candidate, backed by the Sun newspaper, but this now looks unlikely. Parties such as the BNP and UKIP have also said they will not put up candidates, leaving Davis only frivilous, fringe and independent candidates opposing him. The by-election will be held on July 10th.

26/06/08 Henley Results

T.C.Owen ....OMRLP ........242Votes....I repeat 242 Votes A real gentleman and first class Candidate. Well done TC

 

Adams. Christopher mark ....UKIP.... 843

Allpass .John Derek....English Democrats....157

Cole. Louise.... Independant......91........Stunning. a welcome addition to the election

Howell. John.....Tory....19796 (E) ...This lot didnt even acknowledge us. they were very ignorant and I would be deeply concerned if this M.P was representing me, as he obviously didnt wish to consort with us lower mortals, and refused to shake Alan "howlin Laud" Hopes hand when offered in congratulations for winning.

Harrington. Amanda....Independant....128......stunning again... another welcome addition to the election

Kearney. Stephen...Liberal....9680

Mckenzie. Richard Labour....1066

Poole. James....The Fur play party....73.... Great bunch...definately one that the other parties should worry about in future years.

Rait. Timothy ....BNP.... 1243.....one we should all worry about in future years

Rodgers.Richard.....The common Good party....121

Stevenson. Mark.... Green Party....1321

18/06/08 Conference 2008

Our Chairman The Jersey Flyer has been down to the depths of Hampshire and recconoitred the Raven Hotel, Hook  where our intended conference is to be held. A report coming soon

15/06/08 Endorsing a Madcow

The Daily Record have endorsed Warner's candidacy on this account:

The poor folk of Haltemprice and Howden should show their contempt by giving the polls a bodyswerve. But if they must vote in this unnecessary £100,000 waste of time, we say: Vote Cow-Girl. OK, her track record's not great. She only polled 149 votes at the last general election in Sunderland South. And she wasn't much help to Nick The Flying Brick in the Crewe and Nantwich by-election last month. But, crucially, she's not as discredited as David Davis. Or MacKenzie, for that matter.

The Daily Record, June 14, 2008

15/06/09 Henley By-election

More news from Henley. The Miss Great Britain party is fielding 2 candidates, hoping to put everyone else in the shade?

Yup!!! it worked

15/06/08 More on Madcow

Madcow has really started a storm of comment by being (as yet) the only candidate to stand against David Davis, and it may be also be worth a mention to the ratepayers of Haltemprice & Howden that David Davis's political posturing has just cost you around £80,000.

 

 

 

 

11/06/08 More news on By-election at Haltemprice & Howden

We are pleased to announce that "Madcow" girl will be standing a candidate at Haltemprice & Howden.

   Unlike other parties, on many issues we allow our candidates to stand by their conscience. The 42 day detention rule is a good example and Madcow is all for it. You can read Madcow's election Statement here.

11/06/08 By-election at Haltemprice & Howden

Some comments about the by-election at Haltemprice & Howden, brought about by The M.P david Davis resigning in protest at the 42 day detention law. He intends to stand again as a candidate protesting against the loss of civil liberties, and some of the other main parties have agreed not to stand against him which almost guarantees his safe seat. However he will have lost his influential place on the shadow cabinet, and as a back bencher will be less influential in representing his constituents views, which we understand is the whole point of being an M.P  So we are a little confused as to what the benefits are? apart from political posturing. (Which we in the loony party have down to a fine art)

10/06/08 Henley By-election

We are pleased to confirm that our Candidate and Deputy Chairman (Topcat)T. C. Owen will be contesting the Henley on Thames by-election on Thurs 26th June.      

03/06/08 Bo Diddley passes on

It is with great regret that the Musician Bo Diddley to whom Rock an Roll owes so much has passed away. Wynonie Harris, Shadow Minister for Real Rhythm & Blues has written a small tribute. Click here to view

28/05/08 Christmas Drink

The Isle of Wight Branch of the OMRLP have confirmed that their Christmas Drink will be held on Fri June 27th. Provisionally at the Railway Tavern - Newport I.O.W Members new and old are welcome to attend.

23/05/08 Crewe and Nantwich results

A Massive 236 Votes for Nick the Brick and the OMRLP. Well done to Nick , all his agents and supporters, and 

 a big big thankyou to all the people who voted for us.

    

19/05/08 Nick the Brick on the campayne trale in Crew

   The Flying Brick, Shadow Minister for the Abolition of Gravity, has chosen transport and education as his main campaign issues.
He would open a brand new train-spotting university and banish cars from the constituency. The inherent transport problems associated with banning cars would be overcome by linking residences with their own private rail network.
Unlike the other candidates the Flying Brick also considers sport and recreation. He would introduce Piranha to the River Weaver to make angling more of a spectator sport. This will boost tourism and create new jobs in Leighton Hospital.

15/05/08 And this guy wants to be President?

14/05/08 Natural Disasters

We would like to express are sympathies, condolances and best wishes to the people of Burma and China in the wake of the cyclone and earthquake affecting their countries.

08/05/08 She is not amused.....Timely reminder

It has been left to one of our loyal colonial members (Secret Squirrel) to remind us that 2012 is not just about the Olimpics and advertising for Coca cola and Macdonolds etc, but a better reason to celebrate. Its the Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee year.
The Diamond Jubilee is held in a monarch's 60th year............

07/05/08 Crewe and Nantwich Bye election

We will be contesting the Crewe and Nantwich Bye-election on Thurs 22nd May. Our candidate is the intrepid Nick the Brick and as all the other parties are bringing in their leaders to drum up support, so will we. Alan "Howlin Laud" Hope will be attending and giving our candidate support. Watch this space...

We will also be contesting the forthcoming bye election in Henley on Thames caused by the promotion of Boris Johnson. It has been confirmed that our Deputy leader TopCat T.C.Owen will be standing.

02/05/08 Local Elecshon Results 2008... Well done to all

Bob (Retard) Stanton  won 67 votes at Rowhill Constituency in Aldershot.

Sheikmahand won 46 votes at Swale Borough Council. kent

Mad Mike Young won 110 at Minster Cliffs Ward of the Borough of Swale, Kent

Jon Smith won a massive 170  at Belper Town Council. Derbyshire North Ward who sent in these Pics of himself and his good lady ably assisted by Nick the Brick

            

Chinners won 66 at East Molesley. Kingston upon Thames

Read about Chinners outstanding success in the Esher Newspapers   Well done chinners and all who helped.

 A pic of chinners on election night with assistance from members of the band Mona Lisa

01/05/08 Local Elecshuns

Local elections are now looming in many areas, and true to form we are contesting the odd seat.

We start with our candidate Jon Smith aka Imwy Eddon. Shadow Minister forfor extending the 6o/c curfew on Teddy Bears Picnics, who is standing in the Belper Town Council by-election for the North Ward.

This by-election has been caused by the resignation of Hassan Dervish (Lib Dem), who was the only non-Tory on the council. It'll be a four-way battle between the usual three suspects and Jon. Nick the Brick will be giving support and advise and will be there on the night.

  Chinners:  http://votewise.co.uk/index.php?pg=show&c=579&eid=43UBGH-0

Also present will be the Molesey Stocks . . .
WELFARE - To curb the rising Anti social behaviour, we propose to resurrect the old pastime of the Stocks. These will be set up in all local parks and will have a wheelie bin full of ripened tomatoes, supplied by local farmers and allotment owners. Duration in the stock will depend upon the crime committed, for example graffiti vandalism will be 5 hours. Stocks were used in medieval times to curb the anti social behaver's of the time. We proposed to invoke the Act of 1405, which is still on statute books today, whereby a Village will be downgraded to a mere hamlet, should there not be any public stocks. East Molesey residents have nothing to fear however as we already have a set of stocks, to be unveiled at our Victory party on May 1st 2008 in the Prince of Wales.

The Practice Polling Booth . . .
ELECTORAL REFORM - As the party that got the voting age reduced from 21 to 18, we fully support the campaign allowing 16 & 17 year olds to enter the political voting system. At present they can decide to leave school, join the armed forces, and claim benefits but currently, they have no say in the running of the country, which after all will hopefully have longer future effects on them than the rest of us. www.votesat16.org.uk  We will prepare 16 & 17 year olds for the experience of voting by taking our ‘Practice Polling Booth’ to the streets of Molesey. This will also give people who don’t usually vote the chance to do so, as well as seasonal voters who just want to . ..er . . . practice.

and of course there will be the odd spacehopper floating about . . .
TRANSPORT - All cars will be converted to run on Venos to help stop congestion and Bus passes will be valid to use the riverboat to Kingston & Richmond from Walton & Hampton Court. As there is not a regular bus route that goes between Walton, Esher and Molesey, we propose to build a Water log flume (to be called the Elmbridge Triangle) and Spacehopper & Pram lanes will be created in all shopping centres.

Mad Mike Young  says : "I intend to stand on behalf of our great Party in the Minster Cliffs Ward of the Borough of Swale, Kent for the Election in May 2008"  watch this space for more on Mad Mike

   Sheikhmihand:  Sheikh up Swale and vote Official Monster Raving Loony Party at the Swale Borough Council elections May 1st 2008www.sheikhmihand.co.uk

16/04/08 How to win an election...The Zimbabwe way

In order to modernise the election process in Zimbabwe Mugabe has introduced  an enquiry hotline to encourage voters to vote for the right party and to ensure fair play is seen and done. To do this voters are encouraged to phone their embassy and listen to the recorded message. Click here to hear it (must have sound card)  Click your back button to return to this page.

04/04/08 Renewal Packs

Please note that their has been a delay in sorting out the 2008 RENEWAL PACKS. Don't worry if you havent received one yet. No one has. We will get them to you asap. Once again our apologies for the delay

24/03/08 Mad Hatters Tea Party

 OMRLP SPACEHOPPER RACE

A Full report on this can be seen here.   and a video link of "what the papers say here"    A fantastic weekend was had by all with a considerable sum raised for 3rd Molesey Scouts raised. Pics are already on view at www.phototed.co.uk

10/03/08 More proposals:

Smooth Ride 
Far too many speed bumps are creeping into our residential streets.
It is  proposed to remove them all and replace them with eliptical, egg shaped wheels on every car. This would be like taking the bumps with you. Buses would be exempt.
From Lee

Sweet Clarity
'all mixed sweets (e.g Smarties, Skittles, Fruit Pastilles etc) must come in a clear wrapper so you know exactly which one your getting next (also so you know when not to offer the next one!).
From Gavin

This one from Daniel........ASBO's

Yobs and delinquent youths, seem to like ASBOs they treat them like a medal. Well an idea to fix this is call them: "Magic Pink Fluffy Bunny awards" no one not even a yob would want to get  that. Perhaps as an extra deterrent they have to wear pink fluffy bunny ears and a badge saying: "I love the magic pink fluffy bunny"

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