It all started for me on Thurs 7th when I booked into the Venture Hotel in Deptford, although just outside of the constituency, a lot of people I met lived within the voting area, apart from that it was also a public house ‘The Royal Standard’ which was very popular. Canvassing back and forth on the bus, it was surprising who you would want to talk to you, once you put a Loony Badge on Well looked after by Ade and Jazz, nice place, nice people, nice company.
Next four days was spent with my Cousin Martin Horton, and his wife Jackie in Brockley. Once again not quite within the constituency, but near enough to be able to use as a local address for the forthcoming election. Thank you Martin.
On the Tues 12th I attended a Hustings meeting at the local Salvation Army Hall, quite an experience, I got through my speech with flying colours, but as soon as Ukip candidate got up the racist accusations started, the police stopped the meeting just before the end, afraid of repercussions they said. What would have been more in line would have been to move the protesters on, and let a peaceful ‘Hustings Meeting’ continue.
So eight days in all, trying to be our very first member of Parliament, all to no avail, I’m sorry, but at least we did try.
On the count night we all met up in the Catford Constitutional Club. The Flying Brick, Baron Badger, Lady Helen Back, Chinners, Mr R U Seerius and Sir Knigel Knapp. The same place where Chinners and Knigel got all the nomination names from. We were joined by Sean Finch and his Libertarian Party, although we did invite every party along to join us. Sir Knigel gave a solo performance and preview of songs on his latest yet to be released album. A good fun evening all in all, and so on to the count.
We didn’t bother getting there in any rush, as we were informed that it would be 3pm before the result would be announced. We got there 12.45 to join in, and it was virtually all over apart from the official result. We made our usual noisy but very complex entry, much to the applause and smiles of all who were watching.
We came 9th out of 14 candidates with 93 votes, low turnout 33.35%. You only needed 1,099 votes to retain your deposit. Only 3 party’s did that.
When you consider that one of our voting catch phrases is ‘The only wasted vote is the one that’s not used’, just consider what the outcome could have been if the 44,084 people who didn’t bother to vote, actually voted for us ! ! ! !
It will happen one day, when people realise that we are the only party that’s on every body’s side no matter what your political persuasion may be !
Here’s to the next one, whenever. If not before, I shall see you all at the Conference in Belper Derbyshire, Sept 27-28-29th. See – loonyparty.com – for more details.
The Howling ‘Laud’
There is a meeting all about the upcoming race, what different activities are on during the day and input from the audience is thoroughly encouraged.
Next meeting takes place in the Wythenshawe Cricket Club on the 4th of July at 7pm. Please come along and stick your oar in
We are pleased to announce that our deposit has been paid and nomination papers officially accepted, yes we are up and running. Our candidate is our Illustrious Leader, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope. After a bit of a false start with our nominated agent Trevor Allman, he had a bit of trouble collecting the 10 names for the nomination paper.
Well done Trevor for trying, but maybe you shouldn’t have tried to do it, on a rainy day. Nevertheless on Weds 16th May we sent in reinforcements in the shape of ‘Chinners’ the Chin-up Boy, minister for Spinning and Bouncing, and ‘Knigel Knapp’, The Knight of the Unknown. Within an hour and a half, the mission was completed, thanks from us all for this sterling effort. All the electors names being obtained from ‘The Catford Con Club’ if that’s not sterling I don’t know what is. Well done, pat on the back (more like a pint of beer) to our two staunch stalwart party members. This is Looniness working together!
On Friday 18th, Chinners and myself spent time in the Boro of Lewisham depositing said monies and papers. The Election Officer, Jamie Baker seemed very pleased that we were standing, (it’s not a real election without you) was the attitude. Very amiable and helpful person, thank you Jamie.
Cant wait to get this show on the road now, not too sure where the count will be yet, but will be informed.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope.
Good People of Lewisham…..Voting is pretty simple really , ask yourself the question – Are you , your family and your neighborhood better off than it was the last time you voted . It was that great Loony, Albert Einstein that said “Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results” ??
We pledge to fight this By-election on an invisible platform so that people cannot see the floors in our policies.
Social Housing : We will continue to support and invest in our Public houses as they are the social meeting places in society. We will help to reduce binge drinking by allowing the pubs to open 36 hours a day.
We propose to prevent identity theft instantly by calling everyone Chris. ?
We will redevelop Playgrounds in Lewisham for all age groups.
The Civil Service will be extended to all branches of government, because a little politeness goes a long way.?
Carrier bags will be replaced by the more environmentally friendly Pigeon. This will also allow the owner to partake in one of the UK’s long lost pastimes.
To increase Jobs and wealth to the people of Lewisham….Once in power we will declare Lewisham independent from Westminster and convert Lewisham to an inshore Tax Haven
The British Museum should have a Daddy’s section alongside the current Mummy exhibition.??
We will rename the current Oyster cards, ‘Sardine Cards’ to better reflect the experience when travelling on public transport
We will only paint yellow lines where you CAN park, this will save the UK thousands of pounds every day. Potholes deeper than 3 inches will be marked with a yellow plastic duck .??
All political and electoral leaflets will be printed on soft paper so that it may be recycled in the appropriate manner. ???
In an effort to reduce the problems faced by the NHS , it is proposed to reduce pregnancy from nine to seven months ???
We propose to relocate the Lewisham to the countryside so that it’s residents can enjoy fresher air.??
To protect pets and people of a nervous disposition we would introduce silent fireworks .??
We will combat corruption in public life by taking part in it openly, we will also introduce the Board of Bribery who will set standardised rates?
Published by Mr R.U.Seerius on behalf of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party
Our Illustrious and stalwart party leader Alan ‘Howling Laud’ Hope is the obvious choice to be Lewisham East’s next MP. Howling is a familiar face on the political scene having previously fought 21 Parliamentary seats against Teresa May, David Cameron, Boris Johnson and many others. He is feeling jubilant as he has just been returned to serve on his local ‘Fleet Town Council’ Hampshire for another four years. This is his third win for this seat.
He has previously been the Town Mayor, Chairman of the Council, Lord of the Borough for Ashburton, Devon 1998 – 2000, and Ashburton Town Councillor for 13 years. So he has a lot to offer the people of Lewisham East. All these elections have been achieved on a ‘Loony Party’ ticket. If you don’t usually vote, then vote unusually, vote Loony. Remember the only wasted vote is one that’s not used.
>>Check out this article in ‘Medium.com’ – An online magazine<<
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope – Mob 07946292557
Heidi Alexander, a Labour MP, stood down yesterday to become the London deputy Mayor for Transport. She is vacating her Lewisham East seat.
The ‘Official Monster Raving Loony Party’ will be contesting this seat, in the shape of their well seasoned parliamentary candidate, party leader, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope. His running mate, agent, will be Trevor Allman, more commonly known as Lord Halfperson. He very recently stood in the recent local council elections in Blackheath Greenwich, polling 106 votes. Howling ‘Laud’ Hope however was returned to his local Town Council in Fleet, Hampshire, with an overwhelming amount of unopposed votes, for the third time running.
Nobody knows when this will happen yet, but keep an eye on www.loonyparty.com for regular updates. We are all looking forward to it with great anticipation, and Looniversal Sensibilism! Remember – The only wasted vote is one that’s not used!
The Howling ‘Laud’.
Farmin’ Lord Dave – Denton South – 206
Trevor Allman – Blackheath Greenwich -106
Chinners – Chessington North – 82
Howling Laud – Hart District – 60
Baron Badger – Walton North – 38
Monkey – Molesey East – 22
Although he didn’t make Hart District Council, ‘Howling Laud’ did retain his seat for another 4 years, with an overwhelming unopposed vote on Fleet Town Council.
Well done to all of you who actually stood, and a very big thank you to all those that voted for us. There was not one seat that had more than a 40% turn out, so 50% wasted votes. Imagine if they had all voted for us? The only wasted vote is one that’s not used. Looking
at it that way, if voting was made compulsory, I’d like to think that we’d
probably win – And that’s probably why it’s not!!!
A drink on me for all contestants at the conference and a bottle of wine for the outright winner, Farmin’ Lord Dave!
The Howling ‘Laud’