Scottish Neverendum Policy

We propose, in order to keep everyone happy, Scotland will be independent, every other year. Simple, Easy, Effective

(Thanks to angus for this policy)

The Screams are horrible…Scottish Neverendum

We have noticed a few things which are particular to the Scottish Neverendum Campaign. There are calls that in the event of a Yes Vote David Cameroon should resign,(why?) however if they Vote No does Alex Salmond and the fish resign?

Also If the vote is No, will Alex Salmond as he is already doing, blame the BBC and the Westminster Government for bullying and scaremongering?

When he talks a load of rubbish its political campaigning, when someone refutes his arguments “it’s all a conspiracy”.

But let’s get one thing clear if the Vote is No it should not raise its ugly head for at least another 300 years. I suspect however that if the vote is close we will be going through this scenario again in a few short years, and again , and again until Alex Salmond gets the result he wants. Hence the Scottish Neverendum.

When it comes to screaming out loud we in the Loony party have much more experience than Alex Salmond. (Re our former leader,the clue is in the name)

Clacton on sea by election

We can confirm that Alan Howlin “Laud ” Hope’s nomination has been accepted an he will be standing as our candidate at the forthcoming by election.

“I am thrilled to be standing as a candidate for the constituents of Clacton, which brings back many happy memories of my times here in the past” said Alan ” When I win we will put Clacton – on – Sea back as one of the top tourist attractions, and we will start by trying to arrange for our party conference to be held here in 2015″

The pound is no use to Scotland

Hot News…

Rumour has it ( I know this as we just started it) that The Yes for Scotland Campaign no longer want to use the Pound as their currency, due to the fact that it is being devalued so much as a result of the Scotland Yes campaign that its not worth bothering with anymore.

Immigration …a Scottish problem

In order to stop all the problems of immigrants camping in Calais, we suggest that all illegal immigrants should wait until next Thurs, when Scotland Votes Yes to independence, then hightail it to Glasgow/Edinburgh. They can then sneak across the border unimpeded, until we build the wall..

Scotland neverendum

All the other parties are trying to bribe the Scottish electorate with offers of more self governing powers if they vote NO

No wonder they are confused. If they vote Yes they get to govern themselves and if they vote No? ….they get to Govern themselves

Unlike the other parties, if Scotland decides to stay in the Union we will actually get rid of the Scottish parliament. Its obvious to us that if they vote to stay in the union then they do not want separation or devolution. That’ll save a few bob, and we can then afford to have a massive hogmanay party every year, free……Much more fun than politics.

Vote know it makes sense.

Clacton by election… two many contenders for the same party?

We will be standing at the forthcoming Clacton by election. We are not sure who the candidate will be as just like UKIP we have more than one contender. Unlike Ukip we have 3. If we cannot resolve this we may stand three candidates.

Like Ukip the possible contenders have not been notified, Unlike UKip we’re not bothered.

Scottish Referendum

Irregardless of the result of the Scottish referendum we will still rebuild Hadrians wall, just in case they change their mind.